There are many ways to rise above in life. Conventionally understood promotions and salary increases, as well as gaining official ranks and wealth, are essentially socioeconomic advancements and are undoubtedly “ascending”; also very worldly, but with a warmer sense of living, such as physical and mental health, the well-being of friends and relatives, and family harmony, which we commonly refer to as “a happy life,” naturally also represents moving upwards. If I must give my personal opinion on such a proposition with no standard answer, it would roughly be:

1. Never stop learning

2. The fullness of the spiritual world is fundamental

3. The body is the capital of everything

4. Career advancement requires discernment and choice

Never stop learning

When I graduated from college and entered the workforce as a project manager, my understanding of learning was still from a student’s perspective - “take more exams, get more certifications.” I asked a white-haired old man who mentored me, a project manager with decades of experience, “Is getting a project management certification useful?”

His exact words were, “At your age, it’s useful, but look at me, I’ve been in projects for decades and never got certified. You go get one, but if you have time, you could also learn a musical instrument.” This white-haired man, almost completely gray by then, traveled through many countries working on different projects in his youth, always enjoyed music, was part of a band in Singapore with some Thai people at the time, performing in bars playing the electric bass, and was also learning skateboarding as a hobby. His state and mindset were much younger than mine.

As I gradually moved away from student thinking, I realized that not only studying textbooks, attending classes, and obtaining certifications counted as learning. Learning life skills in the kitchen with parents, such as chopping vegetables and making soup is learning; identifying various flowers, trees, insects, and birds in the wild is learning; observing and understanding other people’s lifestyles in unfamiliar cities is learning; and practicing introspection and awareness when no one else is watching is also learning.

Utilitarian learning, such as obtaining a certificate or an academic degree, can bring immediate rewards. Still, non-utilitarian learning, such as learning some DIY skills to be self-reliant, mastering some popular AI tools to make life and work easier, or even learning a magic trick to make oneself and others laugh, is also learning. Moreover, this altruistic learning can bring longer-lasting positive feedback and is easier to stick with.

Perhaps no one has spoken better on this topic than Steve Jobs, who in his “connecting the dots” speech mentioned attending calligraphy classes after dropping out of college, a seemingly non-utilitarian pursuit that laid the foundation for the printed fonts when designing the Mac computer ten years later. The impact of learning may not need to be immediately apparent, but looking back many years later can bring clarity and enlightenment.

And ten years after the white-haired man said those words to me, I’ve also traveled to many countries and worked on many projects. I still haven’t acquired a project management certificate, but I truly started learning to play the bass.

The fullness of the spiritual world is foundational

From personal experience and observations of those around me, it’s easy for adults to fall into nihilism and escapism in life.

On one hand, the things of human society usually can’t withstand serious deconstruction. Anything that seems meaningful can become meaningless after repeatedly asking, “What is its significance?” After all, any individual is too insignificant to mention in the grand scheme of society, like an ephemeral mayfly in the vastness of the universe. And all the history of human society, all those empires that came and went, and all those once-imposing heroes are nothing more than the “pale blue dot” as Carl Sagan put it.

On the other hand, the pressures of life are always so overwhelming that they make one want to escape, and escaping does seem useful on the surface. With life already so hard, why not take up fishing by a remote riverside, not to catch fish, but to have those four or five hours solely focused on fishing instead of mundane concerns? Another common escape from life is indulging in vices and material pleasures. I deeply understand the helplessness of this need to escape, but I also know that these ways of escaping life only serve to continuously raise one’s threshold for happiness, leading to an increasingly difficult cycle of dissatisfaction.

If one cannot emerge from this nihilism and escapism, any effort to “move upwards” will be futile; if there is no genuine desire for change, no real change will occur. That’s why the fullness of the spiritual world is said to be the foundation. Moreover, a rich spiritual world has a positive effect on mental health. With years of economic development and an improved standard of living, the widespread presence of mental illness has gradually come to everyone’s attention. Research data from the CDC indicates a growing global prevalence of depression.

Mental health is also significantly related to personal quality of life and harmonious relationships with others, all of which inevitably affect the pursuit of “moving upwards.”

Unfortunately, there is no cure-all solution for creating spiritual fullness. I can only share a few methods that have worked effectively for me and others around me:

Meditation: There are many different schools and methods, but as a way to restore mental energy, it is effective regardless of whether you’re aiming for external awareness or inner self-awareness. Finding what works for you and sticking with it will yield results.

Quality Time Alone: Spending time alone reading, watching movies, daydreaming under the sun and blue sky, or petting cats and dogs, is not only a way for many introverts to recharge energy but also applicable to extroverts.

Charitable Activities: Altruistic behavior ultimately benefits oneself. Don’t overemphasize the nobility of charity or selflessness; focusing on the joy you get from volunteering can reveal its healing effect on the inner spirit.

The body is the capital of everything

With a rich spiritual world as the foundation, it’s time to take action, and the body is the capital for all action. By body, I mean two aspects: basic health and enhanced external image.

On the basic side, adult men will inevitably face various physical changes. Men generally start to gain weight after 30, a trend that usually continues until around 55. As the secretion of male hormones decreases, muscle mass will gradually reduce, and after 45 years old, the rate of muscle loss accelerates. In other respects, the function and disease risks of organs such as the heart and prostate also increase with age; and skin aging is not just a female issue, but it can be worse for men who pay less attention to skincare.

Passively accepting the decline in bodily functions is futile; active maintenance is the only way to go. Fortunately, when first reaching middle age and when the decline in bodily functions just begins, the reduction in exercise performance isn’t so pronounced. Maintaining a good exercise regime, especially with at least twice-weekly strength training, can increase muscle mass effectively slow down aging, and even improve physical functions.

In recent years, I’ve significantly increased the proportion of strength training in my routine, and I indeed feel an improvement in various aspects of my fitness. In addition to this, a clean and rich diet and intake of various nutritional supplements are also important parts. As the saying goes, “Exercise accounts for three parts, diet for seven”; of course, nutrition is a complex topic, so I won’t delve into it here. There’s plenty of professional sharing on Zhihu that you can check out.

Furthermore, a better basic physical condition isn’t just about basic effects like improved exercise ability but also improves the external image. A good appearance can make life easier, which becomes especially important in times when gender equality is increasingly recognized. Imagine, if you’re part of a company’s management and all other conditions being equal, would you prefer to promote someone who exercises regularly and maintains a good figure, or someone whose appearance isn’t as remarkable? Likewise, all other things being equal, wouldn’t you want the people close to you - family, friends, lovers - to look better rather than worse?

Even dismissing these worldly and external considerations, simply from a self-pleasing perspective, as an adult man, if given the choice, wouldn’t you prefer to be strong, well-proportioned, energetic, and polished rather than less remarkable in appearance?

Not just exercise, diet, and nutrition that can improve external appearance, men’s daily grooming has also become an integral part of many men’s lives, and men can indeed be more exquisite in this aspect.

I started trying and have kept up with daily skincare routines a few months ago, including cleansing, moisturizing, sun protection, etc., and have seen small successes.

Career advancement requires discernment and choice

With the habit of continuous learning, a full spiritual world, a healthy body, and a good appearance, one has the opportunity to make choices about moving upwards.

Those middle-aged among us must have realized that effort doesn’t always lead to immediate rewards, and hard work doesn’t always yield instant results. But with the enhancement from self-care mentioned above, if you choose to continue advancing socioeconomically, you’ll have many ways to actively show colleagues and the market your ambition. The next step is to seize opportunities when they arise.

And if you choose to continue advancing in terms of life happiness, with these good foundations of body and mind, you’ll be able to put yourself in a better mental state to interact with those around you. More importantly, you’ll be able to get along better with yourself.

People often ask how to succeed in both career and family, to which I say that achieving success in both requires great luck and effort and being good at one is already commendable. It’s impossible to have it all like a protagonist in a wish-fulfilling story. The flip side of “moving upwards” is making choices, judging, and firmly choosing what’s more important to you, be it career advancement, harmonious relationships with friends and relatives, or inner peace. All these are part of moving upwards.